Sing Loud

Worship at church on Sunday morning might be my single most favorite time of the week. As the songs put emotion & words to God’s story in my life, I sing. I sing loud.

I sing because I’m free. I’m not the scared, insecure 22 year old girl I once was. I sing because God rescued me from that dark, cold car where I hid from the abuse. God bottled up my tears, He dried my tears, and He replaced them with deep joy and forgiveness. I sing because He healed my heart from the things that were spoken to me. I sing because He pulled me out of a dangerous place. He took my broken plans for my life and replaced them with His perfect plan. I sing because God knew better.

I sing because He provided a Godly husband for me. I sing because He provided a home for me. I sing because He provided a church for me. I sing because He healed my body after I lost my first pregnancy. He comforted me in my grief. I sing because He held me while I cried. He gave peace to my fearful heart. He reminded me that He was with me, whatever His plan would hold. I sing as I think of the first time I held my oldest daughter. I sing because He made me a mama. I sing for the work He has done in my heart through His plan & His perfect process.

I sing because He redeemed my marriage. I sing loud because he took my idols of security in relationships and replaced them with Himself, the one true God, the only place I’m truly secure. I sing as I think about His work in the lives of those around me. I sing as I think of God’s never-ending, always repeating redemption story. I sing for the friends He has blessed me with. I sing because of the way He has changed me through them. I sing as I think of His story in their lives. I sing because of His grace in every facet of my life.

I sing as I remember my infant daughter connected to machines & medicine. I sing because in the single-most scary moment of my life, He filled my heart with a divine peace. I sing because He healed her. I sing because through that, He healed me. He taught me that no matter what I may lose, I will always have Him. He taught me to suffer well, to draw near, to pour out my heart & all of its emotion to Him, that it’s not too much for Him. I sing because He has reminded me, in my moments of deepest need, how much He loves me.

I sing because I’m free. Free from abuse. Free from fear. Free from worry of what others think. Free to have joy. Free to mess up. Free to admit my mistakes. I am free. So I sing. 

I sing because I know where I’ve been and I know the One who has been with me through it all. I sing because I know that I am His. I know that He is the God who sees. He is the God who hears. He is the loving God who rescues. He is the Almighty God who redeems. So I sing. I sing loud. To the one true God, I sing.