We Won't Move Without You: Get Out Of The Boat

We Won't Move Without You Series

In May of 2013, Eric & I talked about all of the possibilities for our family – opportunities, changes, risks, adventures, best laid plans. We were only a family of 3 at the time, but had dreams and plans for adding what would soon become our sweet & sassy Hailey. As we talked, I became overwhelmed at the idea of change in the midst of planning for a second baby. We talked, we prayed, we talked some more, and the chorus from a song we sing at church came into my head: “We won’t move without You”. We agreed that our phrase for the foreseeable future would be “We won’t move without (God)” – that we wouldn’t make any changes or plans unless we felt God specifically and clearly calling us. This is the first in a series of 3 posts about the ways we've felt God moving us over the last few months.

We Won't Move Without You: Get Out Of The Boat 

About 7 months ago, we were really struggling financially. If you know us well, you know this isn’t a new story. God has made it clear to us that we are so very dependent on Him in this area. Most of our struggles are because we choose for me to stay home with our kids. Though we believe that is a worthy investment, a calling even for us personally, we started to feel weariness set in with financial struggles.

During a particularly difficult month, I opened up to a dear friend & trusted mentor. I shared where we were at, how I felt stuck because we had cut back on every possible area and still came up short, I shared about the mounting pressures at Eric’s job, how I felt very called to be a stay at home mom, yet guilty for where our finances were at. She listened and empathized, as she has many, MANY times over the last decade, and then she looked at me and said, “I think it’s time for Eric to find a different job.” We had thrown this option around here & there, but the way she said it, in that moment, it just hit me differently. I knew that is exactly what had to happen.

In the days that followed, I processed and prayed over our conversation. As I did, I had a clear vision of Eric & I in a boat, the boat had leaks all over and was slowly sinking, I had been praying and begging God to fix our broken boat. He hadn't fixed it. He still wasn't fixing it. Instead God was clearly telling me to GET OUT OF THE DAMN BOAT.

It was time to let go of perceived securities. It was time to be done allowing fear of the unknown control our lives. It was time to take some risks. I think we can easily look at our lives and think we are secure. We see our families, our homes, our jobs, our friends, our churches, and it is all pretty good, so we stay put and we cling to the security we find in these things never changing. If you don’t struggle with this, I sure do. 

Over the last few months, I have been blatantly aware of how scared I’ve been living. Of how much fear dictates the risks I do and don’t take. God has continued to work that out of me over the last year and it was clear that He was about to continue that work in a big way.