The Good Portion

Well, it has been quiet around here (or something else cliche, acknowledging that I haven't blogged in weeks). 

Life has been full. Full & busy with friends, birthdays, dinners, other hobbies, family. All sorts of good busy & full. 

By the end of the day, I am exhausted. Ready to just sit & be still. Blogging has taken a backseat to things that mean much more to me. 

I've realized that I can be kind of a hobby whore (okay, whore is a really strong word. More of a hobby player, but that doesn't role off the tongue quite as nicely, thankyouverymuch alliteration). I fall into a hobby, feel passionate & excited about it, then the passion fades & I often move on to the next thing. Unless I find a clear purpose, it's hard to push through. I am still unsure of my purpose when it comes to blogging. I love to write, I love the way it sparks my creativity, and I love the connection with you all - my friends (current & long lost), family, fellow blogger friends. However, I find myself asking the same questions as I did last year - is this the right season of life for this for me? Where does this fit into my life? And what does it look like? 

As I've shared here before, I'm currently making my way through Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist. She wrote the following in a chapter about what she's learned from her mom:

"...I tell them the story of my mom. I tell them there's still so much time and still so much to be done. I tell them it doesn't have to be full-time, or all-or-nothing, or all-at-once. I tell them what my mom tells me - that you just have to take one step, and that when you do, the next one will appear. I tell them the path doesn't have to be a straight line, and that often it only makes sense when you look back at it. I tell them that when my mom was my age, she was a stay-at-home mom. She wasn't yet an oil painter or a potter or an AIDS activist or an expert on peacekeeping. There's still time, I tell them and I tell myself. There's still time."

If there was ever a paragraph that spoke to my heart, my hobbies, my passions, it would be this one. When it comes to life (& most buffets), my eyes are often bigger than my stomach. I genuinely want to do so much more than I'm capable of doing. 

This isn't all to say that I won't be blogging anymore (you're not getting off that easy friends, sorry!), but I wanted to clarify why I've been quiet. It's not for lack of inspiration, audience, motivation, or desire. It's simply a stage-of-life sort of thing. 

All this to say, I'm still here. I'm just giving myself permission to be inconsistent, to be less than perfect. This likely won't "grow my blog", but it sure as hell is growing me. 

"But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'"     ~Luke 10:41-42~